No one can compete with you at being you. You’re the first and the last time that you’ll ever happen. If your thinking is an extension of you—if what you’re building is a product of your own genius—you’ll be in a league of your own. But if you suppress yourself, if you don’t claim the wisdom within, no one else can. That wisdom will be lost, both to you and to the world. (Location 113)
A genius, in the words of Thelonious Monk, “is the one most like himself.” (Location 125)
Strong convictions are a sign of the conventional-minded, not of the independent-minded. (Location 134)
The fifth part, The Transformation, is about your future. I’ll reveal why life is a jungle gym, not a ladder, how planning can blind you to better possibilities, and how to start walking before you see a clear path. You’ll learn why your safety net might be a straitjacket, how letting go can be an act of love, and why a life lived carefully is a half-dead life. (Location 169)
Spend less time on the “what,” as in Here’s what we’re doing, and more time on the “why,” as in Here’s why we’re doing it. Show your child how geometry and fractions will help them fix their bike. (Location 303)
“What made you curious today?” or “What questions are you interested in exploring?” or “How would you figure out the answers?” (Location 368)
The new strategy you design at work is art. The way you raise your children is art. The way you decorate your home is art. The way you talk, the way you smile, the way you live your life—it’s all art. (Location 393)
We often mistake ourselves for our skin, but our skin isn’t us. Our skin is just what we happen to be wearing right now. It’s what suited us yesterday. Yet we often find ourselves unable to leave what we’ve outgrown. We stick to a job that’s great on paper but soul-sucking in practice. We remain in a dysfunctional relationship, refusing to recognize that it’s not working out. We sacrifice the possibility of what could be for the self-constructed prison of what is. (Location 428)
What you did yesterday doesn’t have to control what you do today. (Location 443)
What will I gain if I let this go? Many of the positive impacts in my life have come from subtractions, not from additions. I’m more proud of what I have stopped doing than of what I have done. (Location 460)
To keep growing and stay healthy, plants must be pruned. Humans work the same way. Once you prune what’s no longer serving you—once you stand naked before the wind with layers of old skin shed—you’ll begin to see yourself. (Location 476)
Facts don’t drive our beliefs. Our beliefs drive the facts we choose to accept—and the facts we choose to ignore. (Location 529)
Perception shapes reality. We don’t see things as they are. We see things as we are. (Location 540)
What would have to be true for their perspective to be accurate? What are they seeing that I’m not seeing? What part of the elephant am I missing? (Location 546)
Haruki Murakami’s advice: “To argue, and win, is to break down the reality of the person you are arguing against. It is painful to lose your reality, so be kind, even if you are right.” (Location 557)
We see others, not as people trying to make sense of the same elephant from different angles, but as morally corrupt or unintelligent. (Location 700)
If you’re in a rut and feeling stuck in your old skin, take a shot of awe. Get lost in a foreign land. Go outside on a cloudless night and consume one of the most potent mind-altering substances—the night sky. (Location 790)
Your most scarce resource isn’t your time or money. It’s your attention. There’s a reason why we call it paying attention. Treat it like you would your money (because it’s more important than money). Save it, invest it, and spend it where it matters most. (Location 860)
Not just deep work, in Cal Newport’s memorable phrase. But deep play. Deep rest. Deep listening. Deep reading. Deep love. Deep everything. This mindset requires being (Location 871)
I look for sources with a higher signal-to-noise ratio. I generally prefer audiobooks over podcasts, books over blog posts, and evergreen articles over breaking news. (Location 936)
How would you like to spend your limited time here on Earth? Do you want to look back on your life and realize that you spent huge chunks of it keeping up with the Kardashians? Or do you want to focus on what matters and create art that you’re proud of? (Location 1014)
What makes you a successful venture capitalist is the quality of the deals you close—not the number of your Twitter followers. What makes you a successful writer is the quality of your books—not how often you hit inbox zero. What makes you a great software engineer is the quality of your software—not the amount of time you spend in meetings. What makes your product successful is its remarkability—not the camera angle you use for the TV commercial promoting it. (Location 1059)
Instead of asking, What’s most urgent right now?, ask, What’s the most important thing I could be doing? And why am I not doing it? Urgent, by definition, doesn’t last. But the important persists. (Location 1074)
If you slow down, you won’t get left behind. You’ll use less energy, you’ll go faster, and you’ll go deeper. The pedal-to-the-metal mentality is the enemy of original thought. Creativity isn’t produced—it’s discovered. And it happens in moments of slack, not during hard labor. Taking your foot off the pedal can be the best way to accelerate. (Location 1109)
Tags: orange
Humans also have seasons. In some seasons, it’s time to act. In others, we’re better off easing up, stepping back, and allowing space for the water to be absorbed. (Location 1121)
Tags: orange
Give yourself permission to lounge in bed after waking up. Put yourself in airplane mode. Sit and stare at the ceiling. Wander aimlessly through a park without listening to a podcast or audiobook. (Location 1129)
Tags: pink
As Brené Brown describes it, “Belonging is being accepted for you. Fitting in is being accepted for being like everyone else. If I get to be me, I belong. If I have to be like you, I fit in.” (Location 1206)
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“Shoot the arrow, then paint the target around it,” Eno explains. “Make the niches in which you finally reside.” (Location 1251)
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We notice things because of contrast. Something stands out because it’s different from what surrounds it. (Location 1271)
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It’s only by embracing, rather than erasing, your idiosyncrasies—the things that make you spectacularly you—that you can become remarkable. (Location 1274)
Step back and ask, What is our edge? What can we offer our customers that will delight them (and us!)? How can we share our unique personality in a way that will set us apart from every other business offering the very same thing? (Location 1316)
Remarkable happens when you stop copying others—especially your own past self—and start making the art that only your current self can make. (Location 1339)
Here are some questions to consider. What makes you you? What are some of the consistent themes across your life? What feels like play to you—but work to others? What is something that you don’t even consider a skill—but other people do? If you asked your best friend or partner, what would they say is your superpower—the thing that you can do better than the average person? (Location 1412)
What did you love doing as a child—before the world stuffed you with facts and memos, before your education stole the joy from what you enjoy, and before the word should dictated how you spend your time? (Location 1431)
What made you weird or different as a child can make you extraordinary as an adult. Tap into those faint memories and use them as inspiration for what you do now. (Location 1433)
Tags: orange
Diversify yourself. If you have a diversity of traits and skills that you can recombine and repurpose, you’ll enjoy an extraordinary advantage to evolve with the future. (Location 1479)
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Diversification doesn’t just ensure your resilience. It also becomes a source of new strength. (Location 1485)
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When diversifying, the more unusual the combination, the greater the potential value. (Location 1498)
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The things that pique your curiosity aren’t random. They will point you to where you need to go. (Location 1554)
Ask yourself: What would I do if no one could know about it—if I couldn’t tell my friends about it or post on social media about it? The principle behind this question is simple: It doesn’t matter how good it looks or how prestigious it is. Trying to impress an invisible jury will often force you to conform and prevent you from taking bold actions that bring you into alignment with yourself. Any choice is a poor choice if it doesn’t bring you alive. (Location 1556)
As long as you enjoy the journey—and as long as you create art you’re proud of—who cares if you don’t reach your destination? You’ve already won. (Location 1603)
Stop overthinking and start experimenting, learning, and improving. (Location 1611)
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Boyd Varty writes, “Going down a path and not finding a track is part of finding the track.… No action is considered a waste, and the key is to keep moving, readjusting, welcoming feedback. The ‘path of not here’ is part of the ‘path of here.’” (Location 1632)
Here are three questions I ask when I run experiments. 1. What am I testing? You’re running an experiment, so you need to know what you’re testing. Will I enjoy podcasting? Do I want to live in Singapore? 2. What does failure look like? What does success look like? Define your criteria for failure and success at the outset, when you’re relatively clearheaded—before your emotional investments and sunk costs cloud your judgment. 3. When will the experiment end? “Someday” isn’t a good answer. Pick a firm date when you’ll evaluate whether the experiment is working and put it on your calendar. It’s much easier to start things than to end things, so it’s important to have an exit plan. (Location 1635)
We seek applause instead of improvement. We pursue goals that are unaligned with ourselves. We play meaningless games and win meaningless prizes. (Location 1663)
A simple question for you: Is this within my control? Don’t hand the controls of your life over to any other pilot. You have your own sense of direction and balance. Focus on what’s yours to shape—and ignore the rest. (Location 1672)
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So ask yourself: What does “enough” look like for me? How will I know when I get there? The beautiful thing about “enough” is that defining it is up to you. Once “you decide you have enough, then you do,” as Seth Godin writes. “And with that choice comes a remarkable sort of freedom. The freedom to be still, to become aware and to stop hiding from the living that’s yet to be done.”9 (Location 1689)
Once you’ve decided what you want from life, go off-menu. Ask for it. Create it. Because the best things in life aren’t on the menu. (Location 1760)
We’ve lost touch with one of the most basic of human experiences—thinking. We beg for answers from others, like Tolstoy’s fabled beggar pleading for pennies from passersby—while unaware that he’s sitting on a pot made of gold. Instead of digging deep into our core to find clarity, we outsource life’s most important questions to others and extinguish the fire of our own thoughts. These suppressed thoughts then come back to haunt us: In works we admire, we see ideas that we crushed because they were our own. (Location 1917)
Breakthroughs lie not in absorbing all the wisdom outside of you but in uncovering the wisdom within you. (Location 1960)
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Ideas that make a big impact initially seem unreasonable. If they were reasonable, someone else would have thought of them already. Unreasonable often refers to reasonable not yet made reality. Unreasonable often means untried or unfamiliar. Unreasonable suggests that an idea deviates from your preconceived benchmark of what is reasonable. But, in many cases, it’s not your idea that’s misplaced. It’s your benchmark. (Location 2060)
Here are some questions I ask in deciding who to allow into my inner circle: Is this person transparent? Do they enjoy diving deep to catch the bigger fish instead of remaining in shallow waters with small talk? Will they listen to what I say without judging me or shaming me? Will they share honest feedback intended to improve my work? (Location 2148)
Before you make any major decision, ask yourself, Is there an attorney on the other side? If so, court their dissent. If not, actively look for one (Who will disagree with me?). If you’re surrounded by people who always agree with you, consider it a warning sign. It means they aren’t being honest with you or thinking critically. (Location 2211)
We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing. —UNKNOWN (Location 2218)
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Practice hones one skill, but play diversifies your skills. Unlike a journey, which has a set destination, play is an odyssey into the unknown. There are no scripts or manuals. You go where your internal wind directs you in a loose and free-flowing manner. (Location 2260)
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You can’t reach the highest levels of your profession if you don’t enjoy what you’re doing. (Location 2298)
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Extraordinary thinkers pursue knowledge with no obvious utility. They explore for the sake of exploring. (Location 2352)
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If you’re curious about physics, spend your Sunday watching the Feynman lectures. (Location 2358)
The lesson is simple: Sometimes the best way to find a solution to your problem is to solve someone else’s—to drop The Office and pick up Entourage or to drop your guitar and pick up the mandolin. (Location 2398)
The Oscar-winning screenwriter William Goldman had it right: “Nobody knows anything.”9 In the movie industry, as in life, no one knows what will be a hit and what will be a flop. (Location 2559)
Here’s the thing: Your art enables other people’s art. Your wisdom unlocks other people’s wisdom. Your expansion inspires others to expand. Your voice can change the way that people think and act. But it can’t do any of that if you keep your mouth shut. (Location 2761)
If you don’t promote your book, the readers won’t come. If you don’t promote your product or your service, the customers won’t come. If you don’t promote yourself, the job offers won’t come. Self-promotion is not an act of shame. It’s an act of love—for others who want what you created. It’s also an act of courage. It’s to say, “Here, I made this,” and take the risk of being rejected. It’s to be vulnerable—and to be un-selfish. It’s quite selfish to refuse to promote your creations to protect your own ego. (Location 2766)
Question everything, from the supposed emotional farewell of a dying rover to a marketer’s confident claims. When you make a regular practice of asking Is this right?, you’ll be surprised how often the answer isn’t an immediate yes. (Location 2839)
André Gide had it right: “Believe those who are seeking the truth; doubt those who find it.” (Location 2981)
being open to changing your mind. It’s about being eager to do so. Eagerness means you prod and poke at your ideas. It means you search for information that proves yourself wrong. It means you don’t feel bad when you find yourself in error. You actually feel good about it. (Location 3045)
“The material we just covered was confusing, and I’m confident there are plenty of you with questions. This is a great time to ask them.” (Location 3058)
You’re more likely to get an honest response if you ask: “What challenges are you facing right now?” That question presumes that challenges are the norm, not the exception. (Location 3069)
As Isaac Asimov writes, “Uncertainty that comes from knowledge (knowing what you don’t know) is different from uncertainty coming from ignorance.” (Location 3106)
The best thinkers look for inspiration in unconventional places. They intentionally step outside their version of the White House press briefing room and seek their version of the cemetery. (Location 3148)
Every single person you meet is your teacher. Unfamiliar people embody unfamiliar wisdom. They know something interesting that you don’t, and it’s never obvious what that is. Search for it. Treat it like a game of hide-and-seek. Skip the small talk and try some of these questions: “What’s one thing that’s been exciting you lately?” “What’s an unusual hobby or interest that you have?” “What’s the most interesting thing you’re working on right now?” (I’m digging JFK’s grave.) (Location 3166)
To paraphrase Haruki Murakami, if you consume what everyone else is consuming, you’ll think what everyone else is thinking. (Location 3211)
What do I actually want to learn? What am I—not other people—interested in? (Location 3220)
If your goal is to create ideas that last, remember the George Clooney effect: Focus on things that age well. (Location 3301)
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I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. (Location 3305)
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Formulas for success satisfy the popular craving for heroes, but they also mislead. We’re seeing only the survivors—not the failures who took bullets to their engine and never returned home. The aspiring entrepreneur who moved (Location 3382)
Keep in mind: What’s called the “industry best practice” isn’t necessarily the best practice. It often consists of people putting extra armor in the most obvious spots. (Location 3396)
Teddy Roosevelt purportedly said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Comparison does more than that: It also robs your confidence. When we compare ourselves to others, we often come up short. That’s because we’re comparing ourselves to an illusion—a curated, airbrushed, seemingly perfect version of a deeply imperfect person. (Location 3432)
When we compete with others, we measure ourselves against their metrics. We try to be like them—but better. As a result, our lives turn into a miserable zero-sum game of never-ending one-upmanship. We end up behaving like six-year-olds looking around to see who got more candy. In so doing, we give away our power to others. We let the gap between us and them decide how we feel about ourselves. (Location 3457)
The best way to escape comparison is through authenticity. “Authentic” has become so overused that it has lost much of its meaning. When I say authentic, I mean living a life according to your own metrics, not someone else’s. If you’re pursuing your own goals—and avoiding ego-driven vanity contests—comparison becomes futile. (Location 3465)
When you give advice, situate it in your own personal context. Explain your own experience, and avoid turning your advice into universal wisdom. Use “I” statements (Here’s what I did…). Add the necessary nuance and caveats. (Location 3529)
Encourage others to think for themselves and find their own path forward. (Location 3531)
Ask, What do you think? What feels aligned for you? When you faced this type of problem in the past, what worked for you? (Location 3531)
No one is coming No one is coming To rescue you Mend you Pick you out of the crowd Tell you it’s your turn Say you’ve made it Carry you on their back Give you the formula Or travel the path for you You’re not a damsel in distress. You are the hero in your own story. You are your own knight in shining armor. (Location 3536)
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We’re in a constant struggle to figure everything out. But “everything all figured out” is the end. That’s when the credits roll. The movie of your life isn’t over yet. You’re still in the middle of the action, constantly evolving and expanding. If you knew what came next, you would disrupt what’s unfolding. You wouldn’t learn the lessons you need to learn. (Location 3656)
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We can play the hand we were dealt rather than the hand we wish we had been dealt. We can learn to use our skills, products, and services in a way that we haven’t before. We can find a different shelter that will protect us from hungry birds in a soot-stained world. (Location 3671)
The wisdom isn’t in your five-year plan or your script. The wisdom is within. The light isn’t at the end of the tunnel. The light is within. If you can act like an improv actor—if you can accept each offer from life with a mindset of “Yes and…”—life becomes a lot more fluid. You can step into new roles, delight in the twists and turns, and arrive at unexpected destinations. (Location 3682)
Yes, life lives on lives. Our old selves become compost for our new selves. Our old truths become seeds for new revelations. Our old paths become lighthouses for new destinations. (Location 3746)